I know that quotes are typically reserved for people who have done important things, published books, shaped the world, or made a major contribution to society or promoted peace or some hippie crap like that.
Well I say funny shit! So you know what? I’m going to start a list of funny quotes because I’m too funny to not quote.
So, I present, memorable lines from Colleen Boyle, future author of a book or that chick you might of saw on the train.
“That joke was so racist, I hope you have to stand next time you take a bus anywhere”
“I’m sorry, I forgot that at the beginning of the relationship I’m supposed to let you think you make the rules, how silly of me”
“These kids are so annoying, I might punch myself in the Uterus”
“There’s nothing scary about a strong man, you should be more afraid of an intelligent woman”
“I don’t think anything is scarier than being reserved instead of expressive”
“Don’t you think it’d be funny if you [to a guy] slam the door on me and yell “equal rights”, instead of holding the door for me? I mean people might think you hit me, but I’d get a laugh out of it”
“If you keep sneaking your dirty clothes into my laundry basket, I’m going to sneak herpes into this relationship as punishment”
“Being a woman is so tiresome, you spend all your energy caring about things that never matter 24 hours later”
“Boyfriends are just like newborn babies, just as sticky, messy, needy, and smelly, except you don’t have to squeeze them out of your girly parts”
to be continued………….